I don't talk like this in real life; don't worry, Ms. Employer (I'm pretty fucking prudent to the point of not being fun, actually; see also: asceticism).
As someone amidst identity crisis, I can guarantee one fundamental truth right now, and that is: despite all my past failures, my eating disorder, my shitty relationships, and my inability to compete with people who function "on my level" measured by standardized tests, GPA, and other bullshit, I have gone through this at quite a young age. -->
That said, while everyone is mis-en-res the rat race of life that I may be "behind" in, I am detached and free, and I have transcended to a level of spirituality, peace, and awareness that most people will need a lifetime of trial and error to ever dream of experiencing (and so I am truly ahead). I have learned not to give a FUCK and not internalize status quo and keeping up with the
And what is artificial "matter" except something we let occupy our minds that does not genuinely take up space? What "matters" to us typically isn't matter, eh? Except the people we love, but that's a whole other story.
It's good to be free. I am not worrying about small questions on the upcoming exam. I am not worrying whether my food is low-carb. I am not worrying whether social media approves of what I did last night. I am not worrying if you do not love me back.
I worry these days just about how I am going to stay alive financially, how I personally will continue to enjoy my gift of life which I am forever thankful for, and how to show my loved ones how much I care. Some of these goals of mine require engaging in the real world, which I've been over for quite some time now, but it's not about me or how great I will be; it's about showing my appreciation to the planet and people I love so much.
And that just gives my heart fucking wings.
